Are You Just a Figment of My Mind

Are you just a figment of my mind
Constructed to give me absolutes and absolution
When I heard you speak was I talking to my self
When you answered prayer was it just dumb luck

Are my prayers just prophylactic phylacteries
Hedging my bets and covering my ass
Filed away like stacks of heavenly confetti
Waiting for the triumphant parade that never comes

Are you able to be measured like atoms on a pin
Are you purely natural living in another dimension
Curled to the tightest circle and as long as infinity
Planck small yet beyond my understanding

When a star exploded in the infinite past
Throwing its dust throughout the ether
Is that the moment my life was determined
All my prayers answered my faith created

Were my prophetic words just lucky guesses
Made without conscious thought from me
Did I just need an authority to give me reason
For poor self esteem, guilt and shame

But how many times can I win the lottery
Before somebody knows I cheated
Is there a point where evidence convicts
And once convicted might I find freedom

How can I ignore the record of my life
I didn’t control the events I was witness to
You are elusive—I know you better than most
But I really don’t know you at all